Oama Declines GOP Request to Redistribute Votes

In the Sarcasosphere

(2008-11-05) — President-elect Barack Obama today politely declined a request from the Republican National Committee to “redistribute the votes” from yesterday’s Congressional contests in order to “spread the power around.”

“It’s not that we want to punish your success,” wrote RNC chairman Mike Duncan. “We just want to make sure that everybody who is behind you has a chance for success too. Our attitude is that if the election’s good for folks from the bottom up, it’s gonna be good for everybody … when you spread the power around, it’s good for everybody.”

In a brief written reply to the GOP, Mr. Obama said, “Our Democrat candidates worked hard for those votes, and it would be a gross injustice to take what they earned by the sweat of their brows and to give it to others who, for whatever reason, did not succeed.”

“The electoral process,” wrote Mr. Obama, “allows a person from any background to work hard, to build a strong organization, to raise investment capital and to take the personal risk that is the necessary precursor to any successful venture. When they do that well, and they win, the benefits ripple outward to many others.”

The 44th president of the United States added, “If you redistribute their hard-earned votes to those less capable, to those who played it safe or who turned in a half-hearted performance, then you remove incentive from the system. In the end, when you aim for equality of outcomes in a particular arena, you inevitably wind up with mediocrity, because men of excellence and ambition will go elsewhere to satisfy their longing for dignity, self-sacrifice and honor.”